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broken rib

by ada bonnevie

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1.
at a loss 04:56
I had a cough for months that lingered in my lungs I broke a rib from the stress and couldn't get out of bed my walls were painted gray I waited for the soreness to fade I guess I didn't realize that I could be so fragile I learned to work around the pain, I know it'll never heal the same but will it always hurt? is it something I deserve? such a pity, such a waste, what a relief to be erased I don't have the stomach for any of this agony and hideousness it's harder than I thought, and I am still at a loss I am still at a loss.
2.
i'm so tired 02:56
out here, barely see my breath surrounded by jealousy and death I can't be reached, only had one call dragged underneath, separate from you all this time, lost my own return in spite of everything I've learned I hid my tracks, spit out all my air slipped into cracks, stripped of all my cares I'm so tired sheep are counting me no more struggle, no more energy no more patience, you can write that down it's all too crazy, I'm not stickin around

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released June 21, 2023

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ada bonnevie Portland, Maine

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